Haruhi: God Incarnate
by Khu
Summary: Sequel to Promise of a Lifetime. Strongly suggested reading, but not necessary. OOC. Haruhi x Kyon.
1. A New School Year

"_Y'know, I never found out your real name, this whole time."_

"_Well, you never really bothered since everyone called me the same thing anyway…"_

"_Yeah well, especially after what's happened, I figure I should at least know your real name."_

"_Fine…"I told her my name, and she promptly burst out laughing._

"_You? Seriously? That's so long and complicated! No wonder everyone just used Kyon!"_

_

* * *

_

"Yo. Wake up, sleepyhead."

"Ehh?"

"You're the one who wanted to get up early…"

"It's too earrlyyyyy…" the girl who had climbed into my bed the previous night groaned and rolled over onto me.

"Oi, it's 7:00. Come on, we gotta get ready for school."

"Naaahh…we're fine…don't worry…"

"Why are you so sleepy anyway? It's so unlike you." I got out of bed and stretched. I found myself wide awake. "And come to think of it, it's kinda weird for me to be up before you."

"Mm, well, I want you to drag me out of bed…"

"How? You climbed into my bed last night anyway, YOU should be the one thanking me and making me breakfast right now." This was getting too regular an occurrence. My little sister would get bad thoughts…

"Oh pft. See, look? The clock says 6:00…"

I looked at the clock. It did say 6:00, even though I swore it was 7:00 just a minute ago. "Stop being such a lazy ass. It's 7:00."

"Geez, fine…" Dishevelled, and hair sticking out at odd places the girl got out of my bed. She wore overly long blue pyjamas. The night before had been…interesting, as far as her clothes had been getting to my house. Apparently she had to walk through a forest. As such, she had a shower and borrowed a set of pyjamas from me at around 10 last night.

As expected, the clock now told me the time was 7 o'clock in the bright morning.

"Seriously, you've got to make this less regular. Why do you keep showing up at my house anyway?" I sighed, exasperated, while I went downstairs to make us breakfast.

"Because your bed is so warm~" I heard the shower being turned on, and a sigh of relief from the bathroom.

Sigh…our first school day of the new year. We were second years now, and nothing in particular had happened since the last time I wrote. Of course, I'm writing now, which means something interesting is going to happen isn't it?

Well, interesting from HER point of view.

After making breakfast, I went back upstairs to my room and changed into my school uniform. It was the middle of spring, and the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. I heard wet footsteps out in the corridor behind me, and I turned towards my closet and got out a North High girl's uniform. The door opened, and I threw the clothes, coat hanger and all, at her. "There. The spare you brought last night."

"Thanks." She began her morning ritual of stretching and generally limbering herself up. I finally finished changing by doing up my tie. And I turned towards her. She was still stark naked, but both of us were long used to that.

Yeah, we went there. Not last night though. Last night was hell enough.

"Hurry up, breakfast's waitin." I patted her head as I went back downstairs. Not long after, she bounded after me, and glomped me as I drew up a chair. I smiled, and kissed her cheek. "Now now, the rest of the house is asleep. Thank god I get up earlier than usual thanks to you."

She raised an eyebrow. "Yeah well, I don't particularly like getting up early now." She made a face and pouted. "Itadakimasu!" She bowed her head, and started eating. I nodded too, and began my breakfast too. Eventually my little sister came down too, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

"Oh. Good morning, Kyon-kun!" She brightened up, and promptly sat herself beside me. "Here you go, breakfast." I reached over the table and brought another bowl of rice, a fried egg and some greens over to her, replete with a pair of chopsticks. "Itadakimasu!" She nodded happily, and started digging in herself. The school girl beside me, yellow ribbons now in her hair after she finished eating, smiled to herself as she rested her chin upon her hand, waiting for my little sister to finish.

Once we were done with that, we all headed out of the house. Since it was the middle of spring, April, the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. We sauntered down the avenues, greeting people as we went.

"It's 5 centimetres per second."

"What?" I cocked an eyebrow at the girl beside me's sudden remark.

"The rate at which cherry blossoms fall. It's 5 centimetres per second."

The girl and I walked side by side, and my little sister was ahead of us a few steps, and she kept turning back towards us yelling things like "Hurry up, you slowpokes!" The girl and I just went along at our leisurely pace. We weren't in much of a hurry anymore these days.

My little sister turned around for the last time with a mischievous little grin. It was so alike to the girl's characteristic grin beside me that I became just a little bit scared. Then my little sister remarked: "You two seem like a married couple." She winked. "Welp, SEE YA LATER!" She ran along to her elementary school down the road.

We looked at each other. We both burst out laughing. "Cough up, I told you she'd pick it up." I held out my outstretched palm.

"Oh, shut up." She made a face before shoving a 10000 yen note in my hand. "There. Happy?" She once again pouted. I looked at my watch. 7:45 AM. Hum. School started at 8:45…we could definitely fit in.

"Nope, not yet." I smiled.

"The hell are you on about?" She looked slightly bewildered, yet defiant.

"Here, come with me." I grabbed her hand, and started running towards the park.

"What the- Kyon! Where are we going?"

I led her down 3 streets, the sun filtering through the cherry blossoms, until I reached the park. There was a stream running through it; a bridge connected the two sides, and there was a winding path through. The park was pretty open itself; there were bonsai trees dotted across, and a solitary, giant cherry blossom to one side. I continued leading her up the path towards the cherry blossom, and around it. There was only one entrance; the other sides were walled off, and trees surrounded. we couldn't be seen from the path and the entrance, being behind the cherry blossom.

By this time, the girl had caught on. "Oh geez, don't tell me you're horny…"

"Fine. My crotch requires…urgent assistance right now."

"Verrrrrrrrry smooth. We can hardly do it here, dumbass." She knocked me lightly on the head.

"I'm not saying that, just a light petting session, s'all." I winked.

"When it comes to you 'light petting' turns into 'heavy petting' and then into-"

I just kissed her to shut her up.

She didn't refuse the contact, but after we broke apart, she said: "Goddamn it, you retard. FINE." We both dropped our bags onto the ground and embraced.

The girl before me was still not convinced, and quite a bit pissed at that. At least, that's what she looked like…

Just to let you know, I've kind of grown out of the habit of writing this kind of intimate contact. I just don't feel the urge to anymore. You might say that's because she's been visiting my house for well on a month now, and we've had plenty of chances, but I feel it's more like I'm maturing.

Oh, who am I kidding.

My hands caressed her entire body; the right was focusing on her back, and the left was tracing patterns on her thighs. She sighed. "We really need to stop doing this so often…"

"Well then stop coming to my house."

"You know I can't do that." She whispered in my ear

"Mmhm. It's exactly the same reaction I'm getting now." I brought my lips to hers, and she quickly invaded my mouth, forcing my tongue to dance with hers.

"Woah…getting faster, I see."

"It's all to counter your advances…" she started licking my neck.

I shivered from the pleasure. "And quite a bit more proactive, I see." My right hand snaked its way to her breasts, and started playing with her left nipple.

"Ah…geez…mm…" she moaned softly, as I felt the nipple grow hard under my thumb. My left grew more bold and slid its way to her hipline. I curved my index finger in slightly, and hooked the hem of her panties. They started easily sliding down-

"Ah. There you two are."

We jumped and turned around, rearranging our clothes. Koizumi was standing there, with his customary smile. Though I must say I think I saw a sweat drop fall.

"Um…look at your watch."

"It's 8:15," I replied, squinting at my watch. "Your point being?"

"How long do you think it takes you to get to school from here by walking, seeing as you are in no way fit to run?"

The girl and I looked at each other.

"…Shit." We grabbed up our bags and started fast walking to school, with Koizumi walking beside us. I stopped calling him Smiling Bastard. It was too much of a compliment to him, so I just switched to his normal name.

He whispered in my ear: "You DO know we have you under surveillance, right. We know everything you do…"

"Oh shut up." I waved him away, and he laughed gently. "Well, we have to be at the entrance ceremony. The Brigade Leader will need to make her address for new recruits."

"Oh yeah." I wrapped an arm around my girlfriend. She rested her head on my shoulder.

"You ready for another year?" I asked her, quietly.

"You bet!" She grinned, and kissed my cheek. "Let's make this year so much better than last year, neh?"

"Yeah. Let's do this."

Ahead, at the foot of the hill, were another two familiar faces. "Kyon-kun!" My short, cute upperclassman waved at us. "Long time no see!" She beamed happily. The other, a quiet girl who loved reading books, looked up, gave a short wave, and then kept on reading. I blinked. "That's the most motion I've ever seen Yuki do."

"Yes, Nagato-san has gotten quite a bit more animated since the holidays. And Asahina-san has been dying to see you all."

When we reached the foot of the hill, they joined in the line, walking beside Koizumi.

My girlfriend beamed, and pinned the armband to her shirt sleeve once again. It was time for another year.

"SOS BRIGADE, ARE YOU READY!" My girlfriend pumped her fist in the air as we marched our way up to the school gates.

"YEAH!" We all punched our fists in the air.

My girlfriend grinned.

The characteristic, cheesy grin.

I couldn't help but smile.

"Alright, let's do this, Haruhi." She nodded in agreement, yellow ribbons fluttering in the wind.

* * *

**HARUHI: GOD INCARNATE**

**SEQUEL TO PROMISE OF A LIFETIME**

**HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS ONE AS WELL. :)**


	2. New Recruit

**The New Recruit**

"Alright, so are there any questions out of you lot?" Haruhi finished up her speech at the Brigade's "Open Day", as it were. Many of the first years looked bemused as I eased my way inside.

I had spent most of the time being Haruhi's errand boy. I didn't hate it as much as before, but it certainly did put me in a slightly foul mood. I decided to show some enthusiasm because that way I'd get more out of the relationship, but she was still using me like a mule, which I guess I resented, considering what had happened last year.

Of course, a lot had changed since that incident; Haruhi now knew my full name, and used it whenever she needed a favour. She certainly changed in her behaviour towards me in private, and in front of other people – she would almost never doubt my faith and innocence anymore. That being said, she still had those quirks – searching for strange and wonderful things. Through her logic, she thought that strange and wonderful things should stick to her like a magnet. At that, I had frowned.

"But you haven't considered the implications of others that do not wish to be manipulated by a schoolgirl! What if some of those strange things are hostile?"

"Oh so what Kyon," she had retorted. "If it comes down to it I can just reduce them to a mouse, or something."

I still held my reservations about the entire thing. There was no way I could get Haruhi to stop looking; so I 'orchestrated' a few of my own. She saw right through most of them though. She seemed to appreciate the gesture, but really wanted me to stop trying so hard. "Seriously, you're stopping me form finding anything real!" She had reprimanded me.

So, of course, I stopped. That was over the winter; and the year had rolled on by. Much of Haruhi's preparations for school had dealt with the SOS Brigade or tutoring me; I was determined to match my girlfriend's insane marks, no matter the cost to my pride. So of course, she was the first port of call.

The SOS Brigade, meanwhile, had also tried to organise some things to make the holidays more interesting for Haruhi: Koizumi for example got a few of his ESPer buddies to act like poltergeists in the park at night; Asahina-san had contacted Tsuruya, and together they'd booked Haruhi and I a short cruise around Japan (in which ABSOLUTELY NOTHING OF INTEREST HAPPENED) and Nagato had lent Haruhi and I a whole stack of books to read over the holidays. Nothing short of the SOS Brigade, I had thought exhaustedly, knowing that Haruhi would be in awe of the ESPers' abilities, be bored throughout the entire cruise, and finish the stack in about 3 days. And of course she expected me to keep up with her. It was of course tiring as hell, but I kind of enjoyed the exercise. It was undoubtedly fun to be with Haruhi BECAUSE of all these happenings, despite the fact that I constantly complained about them. I had once dreamed about meeting ESPers and time travellers and the like, and now I had the chance. My 6 year old self would be proud.

The one thing that remained constant throughout the holidays though had been Haruhi and I as a couple. Everywhere we went I would always get weird looks. They probably thought she was way out of my league. Haruhi didn't seem to notice the stares. Wherever we went I heard whispers of "Really? I didn't think they'd get together. It probably won't work out." I had carried on walking with a knitted brow, and Haruhi seemed to notice my annoyance, but decided to pass on it, instead nuzzling my neck, and hugging me at almost every possible time, as if to reassure me. I was glad she was still at my side. And she regarded herself as the luckiest girl in the world…heh.

And all too soon the holidays were over, and now here we were.

I shifted across the wall to an empty spot and listened in on the rest.

"No questions? Hmm, you're a quiet lot. Okay, if you wanna join this incredible Brigade, put your name, class and email on that piece of paper taped next to the door over there!" Haruhi pointed to the back of the club room.

The first years got up to go. The regular SOS Brigade were sitting up the front with Haruhi; the tables and chairs had been moved to form a panel next to the window, while the first years sat on the floor in front. It had actually been quite crowded; I don't know how there had been so many interested people. But as I say the freshman leave, I only saw a couple even hesitate at the door, before leaving.

I took the piece of paper from the door frame after everyone left. The rest of the Brigade began to pack up.

"We only got one recruit."

Haruhi looked up, horrified. "What the hell? Those boring kids! Why aren't there more! I was SURE there was going to be more!" She slammed her fist on the table. "And after all that time I spent on that speech."

"Well, the guy's name is Takahashi Tatsuya, by the looks of it." The handwriting was elegant, yet subdued; it flowed across, but seemed to be shortened.

"Oh whatever, I guess he'll have to do." Haruhi snatched the piece of paper from my hands, and I went to helping the others.

"Hmm…what the hell? This is some interesting kid alright." Haruhi tapped her chin.

"Why?" I looked over Haruhi's shoulder, and she absentmindedly started patting my hair.

"He left exactly the same markings as the ones I did three - no, four now – years ago. Look! The very same."

Sure enough, the markings which I had helped Haruhi with 4 years ago were copied at the bottom left corner of the page, almost perfectly shaped. Koizumi and Asahina-san came to look too; Nagato just seemed to pierce the piece of paper with her eyes before returning to her accustomed seat and reading.

"It seems you've got a fan, Suzumiya-san," Koizumi smiled. Haruhi made a haughty huff of derision.

"He'll have to earn his stripes though." Haruhi stood up. "Oh well, looks like one of us is going to have to tutor him in the ways of the Brigade." Everyone else looked at each other. Then we simultaneously pointed at Haruhi.

"Oh, what? Why do I get stuck with the newbie?"

"Well, in all honesty…" I scratched the back of my head. "You're really the only one who KNOWS what you know about the Brigade."

"But-"

"We would not be…qualified to…teach him in the ways of the Brigade." Koizumi said with a visibly strained smile. "I would of course like a pupil of my own, but…I really don't know what should be in the training regimen." With a bow, Koizumi and Asahina-san both scuttled out the door.

Haruhi made a sourpuss face. "Geez, fine." She walked out into the corridor I felt a slight tug on my sleeve. Nagato was standing there, looking expectantly. "Oh, um, Haruhi, wait for me at thre gates, I just need to pick up something." I called out the door.

"Alright, take your time~" I heard the reply.

I closed the door. "What's up, Yuki?"

"Mysterious."

"What, the recruit?"

"Yes."

"We haven't even met him yet!"

"Strange."

"Okay…and you're telling me this why?"

Yuki passed by me to the door, and opened it.

"Be careful."

She disappeared.


	3. First Meeting

I KNOW I've been lazy

Well, here's another QUITE SHORT CHAPTER SO SORRY JUST A LOT OF THINGS HAVE HAPPENED

* * *

The first year made his way to the clubroom he went to yesterday with strong strides. He was on a mission, and was not likely to mince words much with anyone. He was handsome; well defined features, and rimless glasses, perched perfectly on the bridge of his nose. His hair was also well groomed, even though it looked messy. There was an air of supposed kindness about him, as he opened the door and greeted everyone with a wide smile.

"Hello. I'm Takahashi Tatsuya. It's very nice to meet you all." He bowed deeply.

The other club members nodded, and the leader, Haruhi Suzumiya, bade him sit down.

"Alright, recruit. Why did you want to join the SOS Brigade?"

I studied him as he answered the questions. Unhesitant; sure of himself, and quite stuck up, if you ask me. He seemed to be much like Koizumi…except this seemed much more sincere, like he really WANTED to be here. Otherwise , he carried himself like Koizumi: seemingly kind and graceful, though I do wonder about his inner nature.

By the end of the questionnaire, Haruhi seemed satisfied. "Alright then, we'll have you participate in a little mission we have on Sunday." I raised an eyebrow lazily. Well, it was the first brigade meeting, we might as well kick it off with a "bang"…

She explained our weekend escapades. Yadayadayada…exploration, strange things, the usual deal.

"Oi! Kyon! Pay attention!" I jolted in my seat and sat back up.

"Eh? Oh, right, yeah." I pretended to listen. That guy was…pissing me off for some reason. There was just something about him…

"Anyway, everyone else, it's just standard procedure, alright? Any questions?"

None of the regulars raised their hands, but there was a palpable question in the air:

…

Haruhi, what's standard procedure?

Is standard procedure just to bring everything under the moon that we own, and include even more, and probably transportation and the ability to shout everyone lunch, dinner and breakfast the next day in my case?

She, however, was oblivious to any questions that we all may have been telepathically sending her. "Alright then, rookie, you're dismissed. I just need my core members now."

Takahashi rose from his chair quietly, with a refined air about him. He bowed, and I smelt the aroma of flowers about him. Dead flowers. He moved quietly towards the door, gracefully let himself out through the threshold, and the door swung closed again, with a gentle thud.

"There is something up about that guy." I tapped the table, irritated. Haruhi promptly hugged me from behind and started playing with my hair while I was pondering the niggling feeling.

Koizumi flicked his hair. I think it was in disdain of the new member; he seemed to not like his thunder being stolen from him as Mr Suave Prick. He delicately put his chin upon his hand, and asked with a sweeping flick of his hand from his chin. "Miss Suzumiya, what exactly is standard procedure?"

"Bring everything you own, and have enough money to shout everyone for lunch, maybe dinner, for Kyon." She ruffled my hair. I made a face. Mostly correct. "But for the rest of you, you can just bring clothes, some money, paper, pens…not much other than that."

I poked her once. "Can't you shout everyone for once? You're the leader after—wait, stupid question. Never mind."

"What? You think I'm poor, is that it?"

Hook, line and sinker, Haruhi. Once I got to know her better, it just became easier to manipulate her – though I avoided it.

"Well, you never have any money with you…" I looked behind and up at Haruhi.

"Oh, is that the case, Mister Smartass?" She stood up straight and put her hands on her hips. "Fine then, I'll bring all the money this Sunday."

"Alright, bring it then. I won't bring any, and if you screw up, then we're going nowhere this week."

"Fine. But then you've still got to carry everything since you're a guy, got it." She pointed at me accusingly.

"Fine by me."

We grimaced at each other for a while, before we both gave up and I kissed her on the cheek, turning my head back to the front.

Mikuru beamed. "You two are so cute together!" She'd recovered pretty well, in my opinion. I applauded her for her resilience. She seemed like she was over it.

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow as I reached up to stroke her hair, and she once again put her arms around me.

"Yup." She served up some tea.

Koizumi was restlessly tapping on the table, which was quite unlike him.

"Itsuki-kun, what's up?" Mikuru tilted her head slightly.

"Nothing. Don't worry." He got up from the table, and slung his bag over one shoulder. "I'll be going now." His customary smile came back, and he gently flicked aside his fringe. "Have a good day, you guys." Yuki abruptly stood up too, and followed him out. She closed the door behind them, quietly.

Mikuru suddenly realised that she was the last one in the room when Haruhi looked at her pointedly, after climbing into my lap, putting her arms around my neck, and constantly stroking my cheek and neck.

"Oh…sorry. Ahaha." She left, nervously closing the door behind her.

So she hasn't fully recovered, huh.

"Eurgh…I'm tired…"I yawned.

She instantly became annoyed. "What, so you're going to give up a perfectly good chance to ravish me?"

"Yup…g'night." I shifted to another chair, and put my head in her lap, pinning her.

She sighed, and gently started stroking my hair. "Idiot…" she smiled, looking down on me as my eyes started to flutter.

"G'night then." She kissed me, before I fell asleep in her arms.


	4. Oily Dirty Work

Eheheh...new chapter ^^ I know you guys must be pissed, so yeah ; Sorry! Charging on!

* * *

**Oily Dirty Work**

As the weeks went by, Takahashi kept sucking up to Haruhi. He was really starting to grate on my nerves.

That Sunday afternoon I mentioned before turned out to be an ass kissing session. He was constantly on her tail, fanning her and whatnot, giving suggestions and constantly being a total prick.

It was clearly obvious to me that he was definitely hitting on her. She just passed it off as "her aura of being the great leader of the SOS Brigade" – which tended to piss me off. She kept going on and on about her superiority. For a while, it was fun to poke her about it – but, teenage years can play havoc on your emotions…

Calm yourself, I said to myself. You've both been through a lot. Don't let this get you down.

But of course, internal monologues only work in retrospect.

As was the case, I was thus pissed off and angry, not only because she deemed herself Miss Condescending, but also because that guy just would not stop his advances. It was crystal clear to me; everyone else was mired in how awesome he seemed to be.

But I smelled flowers.

Dead flowers.

And as far as I was concerned, I had to stop him.

"Haruhi, seriously, you have to stop treating this as a joke! I really think he likes you. I can see he's actively hitting on you!" Once again, I confronted her inside the clubroom, after everyone had left. Everyone left earlier than usual, since everyone had errands apparently, and it was still late afternoon, the sun yellow, sky azure.

"This again?" She sighed irritably, and tried to calm herself down by fiddling with a pen on the desk. "Look, it's not like I'm going to leave you for someone else, y'know." She put her feet up on the desk as well, letting the chair tip back a bit.

I paused, leaning back in my own chair, and gazing out the window before responding. "That's not the point here," I said finally, after careful deliberation. "The point is that he's blatantly trying to hit on you, and it's pissing me off. I'd like you to tell him to stop it. He'll practically only listen to you anyway." I commented, with an I-give-up hand motion. "There's nothing I can really do."

Her face softened. "Geez, fine." She swung her feet off the table, and moved to make a pot of tea. While the water was heating up, she said thoughtfully, "Well, I don't think he's inherently malevolent or anything. Just...persistent."

"In getting in your pants, maybe." I huffed, stretching.

She giggled, took the water off the portable stove, poured it in the tea pot and spooned in the tea leaves. "Yeah, but you're already in them," She smiled.

"And I'd like to keep it as a Kyon exclusive zone."

She mock rolled her eyes. "Alright, I'll talk to him. But, I'm gonna miss all his "ass-kissing", as you put it."

"Pft, you sure you didn't just conjure up a servant?"

"Hey hey, I'm quite self sufficient," She concentrated on pouring the tea into two cups, and then set the teapot in the middle of the table, sliding one of the cups to me. I caught it and sipped.

"Not bad. Could still be better though."

She made a face. "Whatever, like I need your criticism of my tea."

I sniggered. "Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Oh, by the way, you're coming over tonight, yeah? For a study slash planning session?"

She snapped her fingers. "Yeah, that's right. Almost forgot about it. Thanks for reminding me."

...

It IS for your benefit to come over, anyway...

So it ended up being a relatively peaceful day for the SOS Brigade.

It somewhat irks me that I still don't get enough downtime between each crazy encounter. Sure, it's fun, but...break, please, universe? Something always crops up within a month or two, and although that would normally be enough time, the events just keep getting crazier, and crazier, and harder to deal with. Of course, right now, it's been relatively quiet since Haruhi's last explosion. That explosion tended to be constructive, leading Haruhi and I to be together. But, it was still a hellish experience, seeing the laws of physics and social etiquette literally fall from the face of the earth in about five minutes.

Ah, whatever, I'll deal with it as it comes. Haruhi stood up, and brought her chair next to mine, on the other side of the table. She then snuggled up close to me and laid her head on my shoulder. We both were facing the window of the clubroom, watching the sunset. Eventually, we had to go home anyway. We packed up, and left.

* * *

I walked with a spring in my step, my yellow ribbons dancing in the wind. Well, soon as I got home, I'd get everything together and head over to Kyon's after dinner. A cute dress will probably do some good...deep in thought, I almost didn't register the figure in front of me as I turned into my street.

"Takahashi? Why're you here?"

"I'm here simply to serve, Haruhi-sempai."

Kyon was right. This simpering idiot was getting pretty annoying. "I don't need you. Besides, you should stop that. It's not going to do you any good in the SOS Brigade apart from getting you the job of carrying all our stuff."

"Then I will gladly do that, Haruhi-sempai."

"Stop that! Geezus, I like it when you're obedient, but not a door mat. You're not interesting that way."

"Fine, then I'll stop following your every order, Haruhi-sempai." There was a slick, oil undertone, underneath his clear enunciation. Sinister black, with a flame just underneath it. Well, if he was trying to get me annoyed, he was succeeding.

"Stop agreeing with whatever I say! Dear god, at least Kyon verbally protests but still does what I say for him to do..."

"Okay then—"

"Oh, get lost, newbie." I stormed down my street, opened my front door and slammed it shut behind me. Running up the stairs, I kicked off my shoes and headed into my room, dumping my bag. I looked my window to make sure he wasn't in the street.

He still was.

"Go home, Takahashi. For the love of—Oh, whatever."

I flopped onto the bed, pissed off. I turned on the radio to provide some background drone.

"A traffic accident occurred today just outside North High School...some students are believed to be seriously injured, as a bus careened into them around the corner at high speed..."

* * *

I kept waiting, dressed in something smart casual. Odd for Haruhi to actually forget something. Then I finally heard the doorbell.

"Finally, about time you show—" Takahashi stood at my doorstep.

"Hello Kyon." He said. His words were dripping with deep hatred. Like oil on fire, scalding and burning. "Time for you to experience the female you."

"What? What the hell are yo—"

He snapped his fingers. The whole world dissolved and warped into nothingness in an instant, and my body fell to the floor.


	5. Self Reflection

THE PLOT, IT THICKENS - enjoy :D**  
**

* * *

**Self Reflection**

I woke up.

There was cold hard bitumen underneath me, and I heard the slight buzz of a streetlight to my left. It was eerily silent. All that I could hear, my eyes shut, was the streetlight, and the scampering of tiny paws of a dog, or cat to the right.

Without opening my eyes, I felt my chest. No odd protrusions there. Everything was just as it seemed. I finally opened them, and checked visually. Nothing about me had changed.

Weird. What exactly happened then?

More importantly, where am I right now?

I finally picked myself up from the road, and looked around. This was my street! I was, in fact, standing in front of my own house. Dusting myself off, I walked to the front door, before I heard footsteps approaching. I turned around, to face…

"What the hell are you doing at my doorstep?"

I turn, and see a young girl, about my age, dressed in simple grey sweats and sneakers, a plastic bag in one hand. Her hair is tied in a ponytail, and she has a glower of suspicion upon her face.

I hesitated, realising what might be happening now. "By any chance…do you belong to a club you wish you hadn't joined in the first place?"

"What?"

"In school. A club. Set up in a literature club room?"

She didn't move, but I could see the brain behind those eyes working.

"…Yes. What about it."

"Do you happen to have the leader as a…" I thought for a moment. "Boyfriend?"

"…Yes. So?"

"Oh god." One last question to confirm. "Is your nickname Kyon, or some derivative of that?"

"…How do you know so much about me?" She slightly turned to a more aggressive stance, one leg ready to kick me with a sharp uppercut.

"…Because I'm…your gender opposite self. Look, can you smuggle me inside your house, and then I'll tell you everything."

She didn't look like she was going to move. "Alright, fine. Your club is made up of 4 people including yourself, all of which have special powers except you. You have an esper, time traveller and alien –"

"Alright, fine." She walked past me and unlocked the door. "I assume you know how to get to my bedroom then? And that there's a window?"

"Yes…?"

"Then go underneath it. I'll chuck down a rope or something."

I sighed. Excellent. I was breaking into my own house. This was a first. Well, it wasn't TECHNICALLY my house, but it was close enough. I snuck around the house, taking care not to step in the brush and leaf litter, and made it to the backyard. It was much cleaner than mine. Probably she could be bothered mowing the lawn. Eventually the window above slid open, and a knotted bedsheet tumbled down. I grabbed it tightly, and started climbing up the wall, reached the top, and tumbled into my – well, her – room.

It looked almost exactly like mine. Except, hers was much tidier, and had all the tiny details a girl has in her bedroom.

Including stuff in her wardrobe I probably shouldn't have seen, as she quickly slammed it shut after she caught me looking inside.

"Right then. I'm assuming this has something to do with parallel universes or something?" She made me sit under the window, for fear of the carpet getting dirty. With good reason, of course.

"I guess? I don't know how I got here. Besides, I haven't told you my side of the story yet."

"Well, I can guess. You either a) pissed off your version of Haruki, b) got your version of Yuuki to go on the blitz again, or c) met, along your unfortunate path, some anomaly or something that managed to send you along here, correct?"

This girl was smart, just like me. I liked that for once I was dealing with a rational human being.

"Yeah, I guess. Except I didn't do the first 2 parts, for sure. Judging by your response though… I guess the events that occur to each of us is the same. Closed spaces, giant things destroying the city, Yuki deciding that she wanted to be more emotional?"

"That all happened, yeah." She sighed, and glanced at the clock. Apparently it was 10:30 PM.

That reminded me. "Right, what time and date is it?" I asked, looking down at my watch. Of course, it was wrong. It had reset. Probably didn't take well to the whole changing dimension or universe thing.

"11:30 PM, July 10th, Saturday." She replied, scrabbling around on her desk, presumably for some school work or something.

Woah. That meant I had been out cold Friday night, and all of Saturday. Or was that just how changing dimensions/universes worked?

"Right. Thanks. Just about time to hit the hay for you then?"

"Yeah. You better get some sleep too." She disappeared into the bathroom, presumably to brush her teeth or something before bed. She came back out dressed in an overlong shirt and shorts and threw me a blanket and a pillow. "Here. I can't get you a futon or anything, but at least you can sleep with that."

"Right…" Assuming that my sleeping place was where I was sitting, I put the pillow underneath my head.

"Tomorrow I'll get together with Itsuko. She'll hit you up with some clothes, and a place to live maybe."

"Cool. I'm assuming she's the esper?"

"Yeah."

"Then, you have a little brother instead of a little sister...and you're called…" I thought for a bit. "Kyonko?"

She made a sour face. "Yeah, that's right."

I sighed. "Right then." I found it slightly weird that I was still attracted to her, even though technically she is/was me. It was weird in itself that I was living with "myself", as it were. I threw the blanket over me, and lay there on the floor for a while. Eventually I heard a muffled, "Hey?"

"Hmm?"

"How's your girlfriend?"

"Haruhi?"

"Yeah."

I hesitated for a moment. "Can we talk about this in the morning?"

There was a pause. "Okay." I heard a rustle of blankets and sheets, and then all was silent.

* * *

The next day, as I arrived into class, there was a huge commotion in the classroom. I noticed an absence of my favourite brown tousled hair. Oh well. I readjusted my hair, making sure my ponytail was still done up, and strode across the room towards my chair.

"Who died?"

"Was it in that car crash yesterday?"

"Geezus…"

"Never thought it would happen to someone in this school…"

I sat down at my allocated seat behind Kyon's. Strange. He should be here by now. I looked down at my watch, then stared lazily outside the window. They were probably talking about junk again. Soon afterwards, the homeroom teacher came in. "Oi! You lot!" The class immediately hushed down.

"Alright, everyone, move to the auditorium." He said in a subdued voice. The class shuffled out the classroom, myself following. No way, it couldn't be…

All the different classes were converging into the school hall. Koizumi-kun found me first. He sombrely put a hand around my shoulder, and said quietly, "You might want to brace yourself."

I entered the auditorium, and there, on the stage, was a white coffin…

And a photograph of Kyon.

I screamed. Louder than I ever had before. All the students around me clutched their ears in pain, but I didn't care. I thrashed out, angry tears of despair squeezing out of my eyes. I stamped the floor, kicked the chairs, punched the wall, in a murderous, desperate frenzy. Koizumi-kun eventually managed to restrain my arms behind my back, while I bawled out desperate wails of horror, shock and sorrow. When I had calmed down, Koizumi-kun gently led me out of the auditorium, with the rest of the Brigade now following.

Takahashi looked close to tears. His face was all screwed up and his mouth was trembling. "He…he's gone. They…he's gone." He ducked his head down, attempting to stifle his tears, soon becoming uncontrollable. Mikuru was attempting to control her own sobs; Koizumi was acting as stoically as possible, and Nagato let a single tear be shed from her left eye. I let myself be steered by Koizumi to the infirmary.

How…but…I'm all powerful…aren't I?


	6. Get Your Ass In Gear

****I apologise for the weird reuploading three times of this chapter. Apparently even did not apperciate Haruki's gushing...:P Enjoy.

* * *

**Get Your Ass in Gear**

I woke up.

The hell?

I cricked my neck from my uncomfortable sleeping position on the floor, and felt the aches from lying on the hard floor. I stood, carefully stretched, and glanced around. Oh, that's right. I was in an alternate dimension, where at least one example of gender switching had occurred.

Hm. Well, we'll see.

I passed by the mess of brown hair still in bed, and carefully made my way to the 2nd floor bathroom. Quickly brushing my teeth and generally waking myself up, I swiftly tip toed back into my female self's room. Thinking it best to wake my gracious host up, I proceeded to shake her gently.

"Oi. Get up."

Her eyes flickered open, and she rose first, rubbing her eyes with both fists. She took one away, and glanced my way with one open eye, stifling a yawn. "Oh…right. You."

I stopped shaking her. "I'm assuming your family would not take kindly to a male intruder?"

"True…alright. I'll get freshened up and change and things. Wait for me here." She slid out of bed and groggily walked to the bathroom, before returning in a change of clothes and looking much better. "Come on. Out the front door, no one else is up yet."

As Kyonko closes the door behind us we hear a scuffle from behind and a distinct, but muffled "Kyonko-chan where are you going~?"

"OUT." She shouts back, lets the word hang for a little, before finally letting go of the door knob.

"Your little brother?"

"Yeah. Cheeky little bother. Right, you need new clothes and a way back home, right? Let me ring up Itsuko…"

She took out her cyan coloured cell phone with a cute dragon cell phone strap. Had she any other colour cell phone I would've taken offence at such a strap. Good thing cyan was my favourite colour…she muttered a few sentences, before hanging up. "Come on. We'll meet her at the café before Haruki shows up and accuses you of stealing my maiden heart."

"Hm. So he wouldn't accuse you of cheating first?"

"Of course not! I've proven my fidelity, now he thinks only a wizard can take me away from him."

"Interesting…"

Eventually our stroll through town leads us to a table at the café in the train station. Itsuko was neatly dressed in a yellow blouse and green skirt, which I felt fitted her counterpart's usual formal and crisp demeanour. "Ahah. I see our guest to our dimension is quite devoid of any suitable attire." Her vocabulary and eternal smile spoke volumes about her personality. Exactly like how I'd thought of Itsuki.

"…Right." Kyonko also seemed to be uncomfortable with the unnerving unchanging smile. "He just needs one change of clothes before he gets whisked away to wherever he belongs."

"Good." Itsuko pulled out her own mobile phone, sleek black with matte finish, hit a speed dial, and muttered a few commands. A waitress arrived at our table, and I ordered a big Western breakfast and some coffee, while Itsuko ordered an English breakfast teapot, a plate of scones and butter for herself and Kyonko.

Hey, sometimes greasy bacon and eggs can do some delicious good for a brain, despite Itsuko's obvious disdain for such ordinary plebeians like myself.

Meh.

As we were eating, the rest of the Brigade showed up. They were all similar and yet…different. The male Yuki (Yuuki) still had the same colour hair and vaguely same haircut, but was much much taller, even passing me in height. He nodded in my direction, and sat down next to me. The male Mikuru (Mitsuuru) strangely still retained his counterpart's short stature, but sported a short shaggy haircut, with the fringe swept to one side. Nervously waving to me, he sat next to Itsuko, who immediately offered him a scone which he gratefully received. Male Haruhi (Haruki) bounded into the café with all the vigour of a joyful 8 year old, gave Kyonko a swift kiss on the cheek before drawing up a chair and sitting next to her. She patted him on the head a few times before returning to her scone and he grinned at me lopsidedly, winking.

So this was the genderbent SOS Brigade, huh?

Itsuko cleared her throat.

"Right, down to business," She placed her teacup down onto its saucer and daintily wiped her mouth with a tissue. "Your clothes will be here shortly."

"Err, great." I smiled, feeling quite uncomfortable among such a familiar group. They hit the uncanny valley in my consciousness for the people I already knew.

"Haruki, Yuuki, Mitsuuru, this is Kyon. He's…a slider." She chose her words carefully, measuring Haruki's reaction. He seemed to be restraining himself for the moment, and was content to just watch me, eyes gleaming with excitement.

"Hey, I didn't come here of my own accord. An actual slider forced me here." I rose my arms in the universal "I-couldn't-help-it" gesture. "I'd like to get back as well, since I have a feeling he'll try to raise hell back there."

At this point, Haruki burst out with inane gobbledegook I couldn't understand, the words gushing from his mouth.

"Hey hey, slow down. First, I haven't noted anything different apart from the switched genders."

He pouted a little at that, looking like I'd just stolen candy from him.

Itsuko butted in, returning the conversation to its businesslike style.

"First, Mitsuuru, was this event planned or…?"

Mitsuuru squeaked and jumped in surprise, evidently very focused on eating his scone.

"Uhh…I don't think so. I don't remember anything like this from what I remember of any briefings…" His eyes came back from being deep in thought, and he clammed up. Obviously he'd said too much already.

"I see. Alright, Yuuki, any way for you to be able to return him?"

He adjusted his glasses and tilted his head a bit. Then gently nodded.

I arched an eyebrow. "Really? But you manipulate data, don't you?"

"Interdimensional travel is manipulating data in a way. Copying your form here, rebuilding it back in your own dimension, and then wiping you from here."

"Would the initial changing of dimensions have affected the process in any way?"

Yuuki shook his head. "Even if the slider had done an imperfect dimension swap, your form in your world will be destroyed as soon as you enter. The similarity in data between the two entities would force one to be overwritten. As you say…you can't be in two places at once."

"You better get your ass in gear buddy," Haruki grinned.

* * *

I crept up the stairs to the second floor. Carefully reaching the landing, I held my breath.

No sound. Good. I could at least complete this part of the plan without a hitch. I slowly and carefully knelt, and hit a button on my glasses. A heads up display winked on, with TAKAHASHI, TATSUYA – AGENT CONFIRMED flashing for a moment, before it cleared. I switched through the visual modes to night vision, and the area lit up in varying shades of green. I curled my hand around the doorknob to Haruhi's room, and turned it. The door made a few slight creaks as it swung open. I edged my way inside the room, gently letting the door close behind me. I knelt beside Haruhi's bed, gently removing the covers and slid the arm of her pyjamas up. I looked at her lying form, and realised that she was silently crying. Hm. Poor girl. Too bad her and all her incarnations had to be destroyed. Extricating a small syringe from my webbing around my waist, I switched my visual mode to x-ray. I laid the syringe on the table, before taking out a small bottle and a linen cloth. I soaked the cloth in the bottle's contents, a mixture of chloroform and radioactive marker the lab boys had supposedly made. Not that much of in house developed tech worked…I laid the piece of cloth over Haruhi's mouth and nose, and let her chest rise once, twice, three times. I took the cloth away and stowed both it and the bottle back into their pouches, as I watched the radioactive marker travel lazily down her arteries, and then back to her veins. Paying attention to the path the marker took in her arm, I laid her arm out straight, before finding her vein. Clutching the syringe I breathed in once to steady myself, held the air in my lungs, and gently punctured her skin. Once the contents of the syringe were put into her bloodstream, I slid it out, dabbing at the small wound I had created with some tissues on her bedside table. Once the bleeding stopped, I placed a round band aid on it, before replacing the sharp within my webbing. I slid her shirt's arm back down again to cover hers, before creeping out of the room, sliding down the bannister, and slipping out the front door.

Hopefully the scientists' had done their job properly, and her mind will be mine by tomorrow.

That was the plan after all. To eliminate the master copy, the first instance of herself, before moving to exterminate the rest of her kind. And what easier way to do that than to win her hearts and minds, exploiting humans' very weaknesses?


End file.
